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| Who am I? Part 2We are vastly more than who we think we are. Our minds simply can not conceive of our essential nature. As we mature from child to adult we form our sense of self around stories and experiences. During these formative years, these stories become the structure of our identity. The process of identity formation is natural, but unconscious, causing us to wander through life assuming that the core stories we tell ourselves are true. Unwittingly, we believe falsehoods, inaccuracies and lies to be who we are! This is what is referred to as egoic identity, or the false self. Any story that we create to describe who we are is only a story, not the truth. The ego clings to its stories desperately, presuming, that if it lets go, our lives will collapse into chaos. The ego fears that if we relax the mental structures that control our lives we will fall apart. So the ego clings to the old ways of being that have held life in place. In reality, when we surrender; letting go of trying to control, letting go of the shoulds, the expectations, the aversions and desires—we are left with the essence of being. When we let go of trying to prove ourselves and trying to support the stories of identity, we are liberated from the false sense of self and are left with a felt sense of deep inner peace, kindness and compassion. When we let go of the story of identity we reside in the “now” of reality, feeling aliveness and presence. Examining the essence of “who we are” and “who we are not” requires courage. The burning, yearning desire to know who we are provides the courage to face the fear that we will disintegrate, die or dissolve. Ironically, it is the same fear that keeps us from living fully in the present. Letting go, at first, usually brings up tremendous anxiety and fear. Breathing and trusting the mystery of life, we find a way to allow fear and surrender into “what is.” When we let go, a change of heart happens and everything becomes profoundly different than it was before, life becomes infused with the experience of freedom and joy. One of the ways to move toward “letting go” is by inquiry into questions like “Who am I?” One of the easiest ways to approach this question is to explore who we are not. We are not the core stories we unconsciously form identity around. By making the core stories more conscious something softens and we begin to sense into the presence and spaciousness of who we truly are. Core stories are developed early in life. They are formed around two themes; Am I loveable? Am I competent? Or, I am “Not quite good enough,” “Not lovable,” “Not worthy,” “Not belonging” as if we are inherently flawed. Believing we are “Not right” we inevitably go about trying to control, contain, prove, earn, master, please, keep safe and attempt to control ourselves and others through our ideas, |
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Inquiry:
Inquiring into the fundamental questions of life is essential to being truly alive and awakening our full potential.
When we allow the deeper questions in life to live within our consciousness, they invoke wisdom and presence, giving us the clarity to live in ways that bring fulfillment and happiness. We allow these questions to enter into our awareness by giving them space and actively engaging to them. There are several ways to explore inquiry questions: We can journal our responses to them.We can work with a partner, giving a monologue on our thoughts for 10 minutes while our partner just listens without feedback.Or we can talk out loud to pet or plant. Inquiry Questions: What is my core story about being a competent or incompetent person? What is my core story about being lovable or not lovable? |
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